Shear Vanity Monday, Mar 29 2010 

Okay, this is CRAZINESS.
There was a woman in my chair recently;  we’ll call her ‘Betty’.
She is concerned that i am shallow, since i frequently talk about vanity (mine and others) –
I mean, come on, it’s my JOB. I love and encourage and embrace vanity. Without vanity, I might have become a meat packer or a lumber jack (well, not really likely, but you get the idea)

Well anyhow, ‘Betty’ has her hair coloured and cut regularly, undergoes laser hair removal, is tattooed, has permanent make-up, has had cosmetic surgery and has had her teeth whitened.

She insists that she is not vain.

Now I wasn’t born yesterday (although since taking the Orenda products i might look like it)
and I know vanity when i see it.  I see it EVERY DAY.
So i did what any beauty operator would do in that situation…
I said ….. “why don’t  we just do a “1/4 inch trim”.

That magic phrase has gotten me out of more tight situations than i can count.
Keep it in your back pocket, you never know when it will come in handy. Try it the next time you are pulled over for speeding (use this technique only if she is a female cop) – speaking of which, i was pulled over by an officer, ONCE.
I leapt from the car in shock, had i run over someone? was the belt of my coat trailing on the ground outside the car door? was the smiley face i had painted on the license plate in ‘jungle red’ nail polish a moving violation?. She eyed my smart ensemble and gave me the bullhorn to ‘get back in the car’,which of course i did. She asked for my license, i did the ol’ drop and search in the handbag, praying all along that i actually had it with me. Ah-Ha! Triumph!, i  gave it to her.
“uh……… this is a cosmetology licence” she said.

“Oh, right, sorry. Would you like a 1/4″ trim?” i enthusiastically asked. She was stymied.
and just like that, all was right in my world again, and off i went to embrace vanity.

Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done?
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project.
Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.


git er done Saturday, Mar 20 2010 

We do what must be done.
Not much comes between a woman and her hair.
Who cares if the power is out in the Salon?
Who cares if there is no running water ?
A dark pit full of snakes, and spiders? a pesky little heart attack, birth of twins – no problemo!

everyone looks good in the dark

Mining for Beauty

Yes indeed, i have worked in the dark on many days over my 30 year career. When the power goes out, beauty forges on. It’s not that different from trying to shampoo the head and cut the hair of a client who has just had a face lift or an ear transplant – you just cleverly work around the forbidden zone. The salon appointment was made prior to the date of surgery and rarely will that appointment get cancelled for ANY reason. Back surgery? worry not, those folks stand for the entire service while the beauty pro slash circus trickster teeters on a step ladder.

During most black-outs my angelic assistant would mightily hold a flash light so we could git er done. Then came the era of the mag light, then the mini mag, which was oh so handy because  i could hold in my mouth all on my own. It made for an exceptionally professional appearance.

Oddly, this tenacity paid off with a mob-scene of new clients wanting to get in on the fun. Their stylists simply tried to re-schedule the appointment to a day in which power was more likely to be plentiful. But, that would not do.

Each power outage was a call for “all hands on deck” as we  lit more candles and gripped the mini mags tighlty between our pearly whites, and everyone was praying “please oh hair gods, let this turn out the way it’s supposed to”. What was a salon yesterday had become a place of worship today.

But you have to figure that if anyone is desperate enough to have one’s hair cut or coloured in the dark, an artist with a mini-mag in mouth is nothing to shake a stick at. I have actually had numerous clients tell me “that was the best ______EVER”.

and then…
Viola! we discovered the headlamp.
Now, nothing but an untimely death can get in my way.

Do you have a slightly zany story about doing hair or having your hair done?
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project.
Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.


Leap Year Tuesday, Mar 2 2010 

I awoke this morning rather concerned about all the people born on February 29. We all know that February really has only 28 days, but every now and then, some joker adds an extra day just to keep us on our toes.

I know this is not actually about hair, but it is the sort of thing that will come up once i get to the salon, I assure you. Someone will need to talk about this very topic; aging or anti-aging and the un-fairness of life. Someone will announce that they’ve been in therapy for the last 4 years while waiting for Leap Year to return to acknowledge that they indeed were born. Or weirder yet, someone will want to book an appointment for a special event falling on February 29 /2011 and i’ll have to explain that there will not be a 29th of Feb, next year and the battle of the paper calendar Vs the electronic device will begin. Pages will flip and pointers will point or fingers will swipe.

In my opinion, the Leap-er children have been cheated. Imagine, looking like an Octogenarian and having only 4 proper Birthdays!

I think that these are the people who really should be ingesting the Anti-Aging products I carry, They probably have terrific wrinkles, are probably using walkers and their State Identification says they’re just 24.

Who came up with that calendar anyhow? An angry parent?  Captain Kirk? The Nuns?. I know, I know, it’s something about the earth orbiting the sun. Well, with everything speeding up due to technology, you’d think one of those uber aging leap yearian children would come up with a way to get the earth to pick up the pace just a bit, so they could get loved, worshiped and showered with gifts at least once a year like the rest of us. Is there a support group for children born on leap year, or children of adults born on leap year, or friends of children born on leap year? If there is i should have that in my Rolodex.

If you are planning a family, get out your palm pilot, out-look program, I-Cal, mayan calendar, Where’s Waldo Book,  or whatever you use and do the math first. Nine months, plus or minus.
Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done?
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project. Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.

Put on your Seat Belt Sunday, Feb 28 2010 

Put your seatbelt on. I have a lot to say.

How crazy has life become?
We are becoming more and more removed from human contact and hand-shake agreements.
Life seems to be about electronics and SPEED now. Remember the old days when you just took a pill to move faster ?

Remember when hi-tech was carrying your gigantic boom box on your shoulder ?
Now there is no longer mail but Email, snail mail, voice mail, answering machines, black berrys,  cell phones, skype, I.Ms. and it’s just about impossible to reach anyone!

Here lies, the simple beauty of having one’s hair done.
A smile, a touch, a nice cup of tea, forced relaxation, a temporary respite,  your guard is down and nobody cares if you glance at trashy magazines, heck sometimes there’s just good old fashioned eaves-dropping to be had.

Then of course, there’s the bonding that takes place. Let’s face it, it’s a vulnerable position.; You are vain, but you don’t want to actually admit it.  You are hopeful, yet white knuckling the arm rests. You are in the hands of a person who can make or break your date-abliity, (aka your sex life)  – words sneak out of the mouth, it feels good, it’s a cleansing…… it’s a healing. Tears are shed, laughs are had, you look in the mirror and you are BEAUTIFUL. Suddenly, there is hope again, all will be right with the world, your best foot will be put forward and you can tackle that hydra that waits for you ‘out there’.

It’s a lovely thing to do for a living; to connect with others, and put smiles (hopefully) on their faces. Sometimes I can’t believe I am paid to make people happy, because the feeling is mutual.

And then ……. there are people like this:

Goo and Go

In and out, get it done, stick and move, cross it off the list.

Can you believe this?  These too, are my people, they’re in a rush, they want it all, they’re busy, they’re hooked up to all the mechanical contraptions, they are beeping, pinging and ringing, they’re driving while on conference calls (at least they are not smoking anymore).

God love the busy folks. We get it done.

Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done?
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project.
Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.