Around these parts, 7 days is just not enough time to fit in all the beauties who wish to be further beautified or simply maintain their beauty.

Long ago the 8th day was implemented at hair world.

I applied for a special permit I found on the back of a match book and after taking a personality test that showed that not only was I driven, obsessive, compelled, and a Type A to the 3rd degree, I was told that there were 12-step groups for folks like me and I was well positioned to receive an 8th day, and to look for the license that would be in the mail soon.

It was a little challenging trying to fit in an extra day each week on the calendar that the mayans had been working on for some time, but I didn’t go to beauty school for nuthin’ and I found a way to make it work. For the most part that extra day was related to admin, but every now and then it was another day de beaute.

Really, it’s the perfect day in the salon since most folks don’t have that day on their calendar so it’s often peaceful and we all would be running on time. It’s perfect for more hair removal, hair colour and well ….. farting.

Farting can be a real happening in the salon, it can mix well with the scent of perm solution, hair laquer even acrylic nails.

At Simone, farting has become a full contact sport. I’m not talking about the random odiferous elderly client, or a brutal case of coffee breath while in the shampoo bowl.

Okay, l realize I’m on a tangent but what the heck. Let me take a moment to address this beauty faux pas before I go any further. THERE IS NO NEED TO SCREAM WHEN IN THE SHAMPOO BOWL HAVING YOUR HAIR WASHED. We can hear you, just fine… and often times, so can everyone else.

Consider yourself forewarned. We can ALL hear every little word just fine, we’ve heard all the details: of your all night fete’ with Fausto, or how that hussy juked you on the mah jong team or how the kids are driving you crazy and you had to take up shop-lifting to take the edge off. Etc etc etc.

We’ve heard it ALL and it frequently begins creeping out at the shampoo bowl while those hot wet soapy slippery hands are massaging your scalp and neck and temples and ears and the thought bubbles come flowing right out of your mouth.

Okay, back to Farting

I’m talking about the almost constant noxious fumes that hover around Babette and Maurice; my French Bulldogs.

I had heard about this potentially embarrassing dog trait over the years, and had been warned in the early days when I was thinking ‘Frenchie’, but never having a dog of my own, I thought it pure folly.

Now, these glorious breaths are a part of my every day life. I have learned to embrace this part of the Frenchie charm. I admit, it did take quite a while to get used to. For months clients would have strange pinched looks on their faces while having their hair done or while in the waiting area. I did have some concern that everyone I got near suddenly had eaten head cheese, road kill or a rancid egg. Well, truth be told, my clients were FOUL. Then one day a brave Super woman (I’ll call her super Betty) forcefully exclaimed, “THAT IS NOT ME!”.

Well it sure as heck wasn’t me. We all turned a hairy eye ball to Maurice,

and sweet as you please, looking just like baby jesus, he let one rip on cue.

AH HA!  The suspect had been found. There is a god, we all were able to breathe (with a gas masks on) a huge sigh of relief. I felt waves of love, and then guilt for secretly blaming my poor helpless clients for what was now clearly an attack of the French Brigade.

As I write this Monsieur stink sits next to me looking adorable and loudly cranking out his own little gas factory. I worry he may wake the neighbours.

So as we approach the 8th day of the week there are thanks to be given to super ‘Betty’ for calling a spade a spade. Due to her good works a sign now sits at the front of the salon stating. “The Dog did it”, and we can all get back to the business of laughter, relaxation, community and beautification…. And hey, it’s always great to have someone to blame right?

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Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done?
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project. Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.    Simone